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 CaribbeanChoice : General Discussion : Fun & Humor
Message Icon Topic: From the mouth of babes... Post Reply Post New Topic
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ilam96
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Quote ilam96 Replybullet Topic: From the mouth of babes...
    Posted: 02 May 2007 at 7:29am
1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer
evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.
She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my
5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom, that lady isn't wearing a
seat belt!"

2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a
note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this
child are not necessarily those of his parents"

3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.
During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter
to answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right
now. She's hitting the bottle."

4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the
women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks,
with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy
watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you
ever seen a little boy before?"

5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school,
I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and
down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and
continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I
should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her.
"Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "Would you
please tie my shoe?"

6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front
of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was
barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me "Is that a dog you got
back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked
at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he
do?"

7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to
elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon
rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old
age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found
her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced
myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

Cool DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When
she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't
wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives
you a headache the next morning. "

9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our
minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar
wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son a nd his playmates had found a dead
robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured
a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the
disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the
appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of
what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaather, and
unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes!" (I want this line used at
my funeral!)

10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm
just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't
write and they won't let me talk!"

11) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as
he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the
Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old
leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I
found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With
astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's
underwear."
"I cried because I had no shoe, until I met a man with no feet."
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vutjebal
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Quote vutjebal Replybullet Posted: 02 May 2007 at 10:42am
g1...ilam  i like  the last  one..Nod
It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man.
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Scott
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Quote Scott Replybullet Posted: 06 May 2007 at 1:14pm
Scott M. Stolz
CaribbeanChoice.com. Inc. Staff
WisTex | Complete Hosting Guide
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Quote sandra Replybullet Posted: 06 May 2007 at 2:02pm
out of the mouth of babies and sucklings.....

Edited by sandra - 06 May 2007 at 2:02pm
I asked for all things so that I might enjoy life; I was given life so that I might enjoy all things
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vutjebal
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Quote vutjebal Replybullet Posted: 07 May 2007 at 4:09am
Originally posted by sandra

out of the mouth of babies and sucklings.....
 wowww   sandy   do you meant to say  the 
babies babies babies????ConfusedConfusedConfused
It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man.
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